I've always been that person to enjoy another's company. When I was younger I was afraid of being alone and would always bug someone for attention. Till this day I still bug people for attention, haha but like my mother says, 'You're still an attention hog', like mother like daughter.
I like being social, but at the same time, I can be really shy. When I'm in a new situation or around people I don't really know, I tend to hold back a little. But as I get more comfortable I become more talkative. The worst thing though is when you try to make conversation or be a part of a conversation and the people look at you weird; this used to set me back from approaching people. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that these people are not the people I want to be around. With this realization, I tend to find my own crowd or just wander off on my own.
Even though I am sociable and crave the attention every so often, I have since grown away from my shyness (although it still happens on occasion). I have also come to enjoy my own company. I have friends who are afraid of being alone and always seek that company, even if that company isn't the best. But as I try to explain to them, yes it's scary being alone, AT FIRST, but once you find that inner peace of being by yourself, you start to really see the person you are. You start to pursue things that attract you physically, mentally and give you jitters to even approach. However, that's the best part! You are challenging yourself to explore, to really see what YOU are about without anyone else painting the path for you.
I came to realize this at an early age and would slowly start exploring on my own. Just me myself and my thoughts. My favorites of such exploration are hiking or being on the beach. Enjoying the fruits of our nature and hearing nothing but the music in my headphones or reading the words in my latest book. Even better was finding that one spot, away from the crowd and all I can hear peace. Peace of nature's sounds and the peace of my own thoughts, as I live in the beautiful moment that surrounds me.
Even now, living in a new city where I don't know anyone, and the only company I have is my roommates, whom one I see during morning passing or an evening dinner, and the other travels so often that there has been little time to really enjoy this new adventure together. With this, I did reside in my shyness again, thinking often of home and missing those I would socialize with. But again, I remembered, that it's okay to go out and do things alone, to go explore and check out the scenery. To go to a concert to see that artist I've been wanting to see without having someone next to me. Also to just sit out in nature and appreciate Her beauty.
Back in San Diego, I used to do things on my own a lot. Including going to bars to enjoy the latest art show exhibit, or to support a friend and their music. I recall people approaching me, men mainly, asking who I was there with, and I would say-myself. The reaction was always the same, 'why'? And I would say, 'why not' I'm here for this reason so I came. And they would give me a surprised look or look at me weird, like why would a woman be out here on her own? Why not? Of course, there are certain rules you should follow when female and alone at a bar or walking to your car after a night out. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying yourself. I learned to be confident in my independence and happy to be surrounded by my own company and enjoy seeing the things that I want to see. Sure, the company always makes it better, but we should all learn to be content on our own.
I truly believe I have learned more about myself being alone than with others. Because when you're by yourself, there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide who you truly are, and no shame in being TRULY YOU! Once you reach that inner peace, no one can rain on your parade. Yeah being humans we do need to socialize, but we also should take time for ourselves. In the end, you're living your life for you and no-one else.