Self Worth:
Noun; The sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.
This seems to be a trending topic when it comes to Millennial adults. Many of us are hash-tagging, captioning and pumping each other up with these two words. But why? Why do we feel that we need to be consistently reminded of our self-worth? I think the reason is that since the boom of the internet and social media, Millennials are the last real generation that remembers what it was like when there was no social media. And bullying was just "regular" bullying. But now, Generation Z's are being targeted not only in person but also through social media. We see more people body shaming, slut shaming, posting things to just get a rise from a significant other or trying to PROVE our self-worth.
What I have also come to see more of is people posting memes or joking around about the other woman/man in their life. Making it seem okay to have your cake and eat it too. Implying that real love does not exist anymore or that it is rare to find. I feel social media has corrupted this "finding the one" for generation Zers and for many Millennials as well. Which brings the reason for this topic of self-worth.
Despite what social media has let us feel about ourselves or that we want the world to see we have our shit together, there are still many people, for the sake of this topic, woman, that feel low with their self-worth. This can be many reasons, some of which may include: not being as fit or as thin as that girl you follow on your Instagram. Not having that beautiful hair, and for many of the woman I have communicated with, their self-worth is usually highly questioned when they've been through heartbreak or have been rejected by someone they really cared for.
Personally, I fall into all categories. Granted I have since come to recognize my self-worth, but there are times I do question why I wasn't enough, or if it was just me. Nonetheless, I have come to realize what my self-worth is, by knowing who I am. That's where it starts.
Being okay with being alone, and being by yourself with yourself. Really taking the time to see the person you really are and falling in love with your essence. Your good qualities, your personality, your flaws, and generally what makes you, you.
There are still days when I start to think about the hurt I went through and the people that have hurt me to make me question my self-worth. It still hurts when I think about it but because I have taken the time to fall in love with me, I know that I'm a great person, and it wasn't me. I was just not the one meant to continue my life with that person(s). Thus I remind myself of my good qualities and the things that I have to offer. It may sound conceited but all you're doing is a power stance to yourself.
Why I chose to speak on this subject is because I feel that this topic has been brought up pretty often in conversations I have with girlfriends of mine. Furthermore, much of the reasons why we (woman) question our self-worth is because someone (usually a man) made us question it. Commonly it being the man we were in love with or interested in, chooses someone else rather than us, regardless of how long/little we were with that person or the type of relationship we had. Once the break-up happens, and soon after they end up with someone else while we're still trying to heal, it gets to our self-esteem even more. This is where a woman really questions their self-worth. (NOTE: I am not blaming men, I am just referring to personal experience and to those close to me.)
This can take a few weeks, to months, to years to get yourself out of the slump. But you can't let it take over your life. I've had friends that compare themselves to the other person their ex is now with, myself included. I can see the hurt in their eyes, the pain they feel when they speak of that person. I recognize it because I have been there too.
Males and females question their self-worth. However, we will never find it if we don't take the time to truly fall in love with ourselves. Only then will we realize who we really are and what we have to offer. It sucks, and we will still come upon those moments when we're all alone and start to think about the times we felt our lowest and question, "why not me?". That's when we do a power stance to ourselves and point out all the good qualities.
We all have something to offer. However, we are not everyone's type and vice versa. We may meet people in our lives and question why it never happened, and daydream of the what ifs. Along with comparing ourselves to the other person they do end up with, which causes us to question our self-worth.
But, I strongly believe that we meet people for a reason. We become close to some to teach us lessons about ourselves and to grow. It may not always be you, as much as you want it to be, but think about the other person thinking the same about you. The best thing we can do is know who we are, and not waste our time with people who don't see what we have to offer.
Till this day I still do a power stance to myself. Almost thirty and I am still dealing with self-esteem, after all, everyone does. We think it's an adolescent emotion but it travels with us throughout our lives. We just learn to grow. And most importantly, we learn to really appreciate ourselves. That, is self-worth.