millennials

Young. Wild. & Frustrated - Judgement

Judgment: the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion


Let me just say now, judgment isn't always a "bad" thing. Our society has come to develop this word into a negative connotation. But as the definition above explains, judgement is also a formulated opinion about someone.

As many Latinos know, our families can be the biggest judges to anything and everything we do. Especially when it comes to relationships-friendly and/or romantic.  

Friendships we develop through grade school and on will always be judged in one way or form. By the way they dress, the way they talk, their families and most importantly their actions.

Growing up Latina I was always told to be careful who you bring around. Family talks, the chisme starts, and stories formulate even before they know the whole story. Not necessarily meant in a bad way, but meant to be a warning for the person I'm bringing around to know my family will make you uncomfortable. They want to know how well you will fit into the dynamics of the family. Will you fit in, or will you be scared away?

As bad as it sounds this is for more romantically based relationships than anything. If you're a friend, they welcome you with open arms. Not to say that if you're romantically involved they don't do the same, but they make things just a little bit more, warranted if you may say. 


Why am I bringing up this topic? My mother has taught me to be open minded. To see the world not as it is but what it could be. To see people's actions with reason; to ask myself-why is it they act this way? I have always been intrigued with human nature, the way we think, how nature vs. nurture works in our development, and the way the human brain works. Which lead me to love the human psyche. But that's another topic entirely.

As humans, we are natural to judge those that are different from our beliefs, views on life, the way they dress, and etc. 

I think growing up as Millennial, and with the development of social change and acceptance, we as a society are promoting less judgment. They are telling us to embrace our differences and our uniqueness.

For example, letting overweight or "plus size" models, such as Ashley Graham, be okay to flaunt and strut their stuff without having to feel ridiculed for their cellulite and tummy rolls. Thus becoming role models for younger woman now and for the next generation. 

Still this does not mean that there aren't people judging them. There will always be those who will judge you for everything that you do. Thus, judgement is inevitable. What we can do, as I myself have been trying to do, is judge less. Stop with the snide comments, stop with the "what the f*ck is that?" and just sit back and observe without judgment. 

Again, being Latino, the chisme is heavy with our generations. But, all it takes is that one person to call it out and say-why do you have to be so judgmental? Granted some may take offense but then it may lead into conversation of how much we/they actually judge.

Those who judge will never understand, those who understand will never judge.
— Wilson Kanadi

Young. Wild. & Frustrated - That Awkward Moment

Dating Rules. Are there any anymore? The past few years, the dating scene makes it much more difficult to figure out if you're in the beginnings of a potential relationship, or in for another roller coaster ride that makes you throw up at the end.

One example of such dating, is reaching that awkward moment, where you're both (or just one party) is still talking to other people. Due to you two not having the "we're in a committed dating relationship" conversation and or mutual agreement, leaves open windows of potential jealousy, clinginess, and a whirlwind of emotional confusion. Telling yourself, you don't want to get attached, yet you can't help the feels. Therefore singing the endless tune that all men and woman are the same, following with statements of-

  • That's why I'm still single
  • I'll just live with my thousand dogs/cats and die alone

-constantly blaming the other party. But what if, because of this constant awkward scenario, those of us, who are actively looking for a relationship, can't seem to find someone to commit?

Come on Millennials, we're adults, most of us have a handle on adulting; I mean, we share it with a hashtag to prove so!

HA!!

Nevertheless, in all seriousness, if we like someone, shouldn't we just come out and say it? Put your hands to their face, look them in the eye and whisper, "I'm in like with you." Maybe not in that literal sense, but be vocal about having feelings for that person, and only that person.


Much of this is caused by a dilemma that has come to be called serial datingStop serial dating! Emotions just get thrown everywhere that way. As a consequence of such serial actions, we find ourselves in the same dating slump as before.

I admit, I am guilty of serial dating; and as personal analysis-still single because of my serial actions. Although, I have realized my own personal rationale (during the time of my crimes) for participating in this murderous habit:

  1. Keeping my options open
  2. One my parents would approve, one I just want to hang out with when the other is unavailable
  3. Not letting myself get too attached for fear of being hurt
  4. Boredom

Horrible I know. -*Palm to face*- However, what I have concluded from my serial dating crimes, when I am genuinely into a guy, I don't want to be dating anyone else. My full focus is on them, I want to know all I can about them. When time permits, I want my time to be spent with them. That's how I know-it's real.

Trust me, as a woman these emotions are sometimes hard to control so you don't come off looking like a total clingy psychopath. Woman, we can be a little extreme sometimes. Thus, we play it cool, give the men their space; still at the same time, let them know, in the simplest of ways, that we're thinking about them. Added bonus points, is when you-our attracted counterpart- let us know you're thinking about us too. 


To reiterate what I said about dating rules, there really aren't any. I know there are countless articles on how to go about making him/her like you. "make them yours". The truth is, when two people are attracted to each other, rules don't apply.

These two people become patient, like surfers waiting for the perfect set. They sit on their boards, waiting patiently so that they can ride it out together. Sure there will be wipe-outs, broken boards, and board rash, but if they pull you right back out of your wipe-out, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to ride the wave out to shore.